4 Ways Emotions Get In The Way Of Estate Planning (And How To Overcome It)

Estate planning is a big process, and with it can come a lot of fear and uncertainty about the future. Whenever you face something big: a new transition, a presentation at work, a tough sales pitch, or a difficult conversation you may feel uncomfortable, nervous, and unsure. But if you let those negative emotions fester and take center stage, you would often be disappointed by the end result.

Believe it or not but, this is how so many people approach estate planning—out of fear. This negative emotion can cloud your experience and hinder you from creating a meaningful estate plan that is reflective of your needs now and continues your legacy in the future.

Our goal at Legacy Wealth is to help you craft a meaningful and intentional plan for your life and a legacy that lives on for generations to come. In order to do that, you have to dig deep and work through your trepidation around your estate plan and we are here to help. 

Today, our team will delve into four root causes for emotional turbulence in estate planning and how to harness those negative emotions and turn them into something positive.

1. Coming to terms with mortality

We know what you must be thinking, starting off with mortality is a pretty gutsy move but this is a big fear for many people and can stand in the way of creating a strong estate plan. Coming to terms with death, especially your own or that of a loved one is never easy, but creating a plan for those left behind can be a greater comfort than you might think. 

There are important consequences to consider for your beneficiaries should you pass away without an updated estate plan. That can lead to long (billable) hours and costly fees associated with probate, lawyers, and taxes, not to mention the added stress of figuring out how assets will be distributed. All of these decisions, that could have been made by you or discussed with family, are now up to the legal designations of the court which can cause hardship for those handling it. 

In fact, with the severity of COVID-19 many people have given new thought to updating their wills and other estate planning documents like a power of attorney and medical directive who are able to make decisions (either financial or medical) for you should you become incapacitated. 

End-of-life planning may not be the most exciting thing on your to-do list but it is important and in our current world climate many people are taking note of that and doing something about it. 

You might think that talking about death estate planning seems surreal, morbid, or unpleasant. But try to reframe this narrative in your mind. Write a new story. Think about all of the things you have accomplished and what type of life and legacy you want to pass onto your family and loved ones. This is actually quite beautiful as it gives estate planning an aura of hope and promise for the future. 

2. Giving up control

Let’s face it, we are all control freaks. Whether it is how to load the dishwasher or sign off on an email or to use or not to use the Oxford comma, we all have our own way of doing things and it is really hard to change those habits once they are formed. Estate planning can in some ways feel like a loss of control which is really offputting for many of us.

But fear not. In fact, estate planning is really the opposite. It gives you complete control over your legacy both now and in the future. It gives you the opportunity to set things up in a way that makes the most sense to you. You can use your estate plan to establish a pattern of charitable giving or pass down precious heirlooms or help support your grandchild’s education.

When you commit to designing your estate plan from the ground up, you are able to craft each and every piece to function in the way you want, in the way that is true to who you are and the legacy you want to live not only today but each and every day far into the future.  

Use the opportunity of crafting your estate plan to be intentional and meaningful with the assets you have amassed throughout the years. Remember, legacy planning isn’t just about planning for a future that you can’t see. Your legacy starts now. Your legacy is established every day and each day is a new opportunity to grow and strengthen it. So estate planning isn’t about losing control, it is about gaining a whole new perspective and dimension to your planning journey. 

3. Uncertainty about the process

Sometimes estate planning fears are about the process itself. Whether it is the fear of working with a lawyer or not understanding how the process works or even the cost and time it takes to complete. These fears can keep people from updating their plans and really making it what they want and need it to be.

Since estate planning is a deeply personal process, it is imperative that you work with a professional you trust and respect. You want to work with someone who actually cares about you and your situation, someone who is passionate about helping you create a plan that is best for you. If you don’t have that, you need to find a new professional. 

If you are feeling overwhelmed by the process, you are not alone. We recommend that you take estate planning one step at a time. You don’t need to find the perfect language for your will, establish a trust, and change all of your beneficiaries in one day. 

Take the process one step at a time and work with a professional to create a timeline and strategy for tackling each piece that works for you. By taking the process at your own pace, you are likely to feel less overwhelmed and more productive, as each piece will be able to have more intention behind it. 

4. Handling family pressure

It’s no secret that talking about your estate plan is never easy. Likely you are navigating family pressure along the way which adds another layer of complexity to the situation. The best way to combat this pressure and tackle it head-on is to have open, honest, highly transparent conversations with your spouse, kids, family, and other loved ones who are apart of the process in any way. 

Before you leave your oldest child as the sole beneficiary on the family estate, talk to them and your other children to see how they feel about that. Some might be relieved whereas others may need additional clarification and support on why you have decided to make that decision. But by talking about it, you give everyone a chance to talk to one another and ask questions which can alleviate so many arguments down the road. 

This also gives you the opportunity to talk to those most important to you about your wishes. Hearing these things directly from you allows you to all be on the same page and brings honesty and truth to the relationship which will not only ensure your wishes are carried out as you intended but more importantly, strengthen your relationship with your loved ones. 

Talking about your estate planning opens up space for family growth and building relationships as opposed to causing divisions or separations. 

Legacy Wealth Can Help

Our team at Legacy Wealth is committed to the health and wellbeing of your financial plan and estate planning is a big part of that. We know that the process can be overwhelming, but we are here to help you at your pace and craft a plan that is truly and uniquely designed for you.

It’s time for you to look at your legacy in a new way and see the role that estate planning plays in that. Ready to take another look at your plan? Schedule a 15-minute consultation with us. We can’t wait to hear from you.